Are We Truly Better People As We Grow Older?

When we were born, we had no prejudices, no pre-concieved ideas of what was right or wrong. As babies and even as we grew up, our world revolved around our parents and the people whom we most associated with. Along the way, we picked up information in the form of academic education, ideas and continuous programming that either made things clearer or made things more confusing. Most of us believe that what we learn will make us better people but is that necessarily true?

The only filter of what is right or wrong or acceptable or unacceptable is our conscience. This filter was also created based on what was programmed on us during the process of growing up. Hence, this is the reason why everyone stresses the importance of how parents and teachers bring up our children and what we "teach" them.

All that said, we have to remember that every one of us started out on a empty slate. We were born into this world and all we did was sponge information, happenings, ideas into our brains. We definitely picked up some information that are more gray then white. In addition, we also realised that there were people out there that could hurt us and whom we didn't share the same idealogies with what we picked up along the way. We also started building walls around us to protect us, physically as well as emotionally.

One thing most of us didn't realise though is that while these walls kept bad things out, it also boxed us in with all our accumulated ideas and judgements. As we grew older, the walls got higher and less new ideas and information could get in. In the meantime, we mulled over and started extrapolating on the existing information that we had. Maybe that's where the saying of 'thinking out of the box' came from.

The realisation of this hit me full in the face on Deepavali day itself when I was taking an online test in the sanctity of our little library cum office at home. The test explicitly stated that I was to read the excerpt and answer the multiple choice questions purely based on the information that was provided in the excerpt. The excerpt dealt with current issues and concerns that I had either saw on TV, read about or spoke to someone about and of course, formed some judgement on. Thus, what made this test so difficult was to leave all these pre-conceived thoughts and judgements at the door and answer the questions purely based on the information that was provided. Man, it was tough!!

The amazing thing is, it actually got me thinking of how I approached my life, my work and everything I did everyday. It also made me realise that, in the process of building my emotional walls and accumulating experiences, I had also formed my own judgements and opinions on different aspects of my life. In order to feel safe, I found myself clinging to these thoughts and had persuaded myself that they were actually fact. In some circumstances, this could be good but in some cases, it could have made me miss out of opportunities.

So, are we truly better people as we grow older? Or, in order to validate our experiences, we think we are better people. Some how, kids seem to be better then us anytime. Try having a solid conversation with a kid sometime (of course with one that is old enough to have a conversation with). When you talk to that kid, try not to correct him/her and try to truly listen to what they have to say. Kids have not yet built their huge barriers and you truly become aware of this when you talk to them.

Go have an honest conversation with a kid and I believe, it will bring your out of your box for a little while. Just remember not to judge what they say and try to understand where they are coming from. It is truly an eye-opener.